Bipolar WTF!

   Here's something that always makes me think & keeps me driving round that bend... If doctors can't pinpoint exactly what causes BiPolar, how can they treat it effectively?? From what I've been advised, BP can be caused, either, by a traumatic event or it is hereditary. In my case I have both of those possibilities.
 
   I've heard a lot of stories about people trying a lot of different drugs to keep their BP under control & how frustrated they feel. The fact that people have to keep trying different medications to find what works for them, reinforces how hard it is to try & control BP. I myself take Epilim Chrono (a drug used to treat Epilepsy) which helps stabilise my mood & Fluoxetine, an anti-depressant. Epilim Chrono by the way is free if you're Epileptic, but not if you have bipolar. Nice that isn't it, but I won't get started on that now! I've been on them for three years & in that period I've been off work twice extensively. So although I'm sticking with them they obviously aren't working ideally.

   I'm not trying to blame doctors for not being able to treat BP as well as I'd like. It would be pointless. I might as well blame the medical profession for not finding cures for all forms of cancer. The reason for this post is to try & explain the frustration of having & dealing with BP. I won't be able to scratch the surface on getting it across, but hopefully it will give an insight to what it's like. If your reading this & you have BP I'm sure it'll resonate with you.

   Right, well I'm off for a swim. I'm sure it will help work off my frustration :-)...

Classic One Liner From My Nephew

   I've just been reading through my Alternative Journal & one of my nephews came out with a classic line the other day, that only a kid can...

Nephew: "Mum, I'm a Scouser cos I was born in Liverpool aren't I"

Mum: "Yeah that's right"

Nephew: "Are you a Scouser too?"

Mum: "Nooo, I was born in Yorkshire"

Nephew: After a brief thoughtful look "Sooo, does that make you a Yorkshire Pudding then?"

Priceless!!

Week Before My Birthday

   Hmmm, my week hasn't quite gone according to plan... It started off well, but throughout the week I found work harder & it has affected my mood a little. I've been in training over the last 10 days & over the last couple of days I've been putting into practice what I'd learned.
   I've only been back in work full time for the last 7 days & after being off work for around 2 1/2 months I was rusty to say the least. I made numerous mistakes & I was taking to longer to get through the workload than I normally would. Not surprisingly my confidence took a brief nosedive on Thursday afternoon & I was very self conscious of what I was doing, which started to annoy me no end.
   Towards the end of the working day I reminded myself that I've got a fun weekend to look forward to. A four day weekend for a start! A meal out with the Mrs on Saturday for my Bday. A pub roast with family on Sunday & relaxing the rest of the time. Well, a part from grouting the tiles in the bathroom for the 1st time ever at some point. That should be interesting & no doubt calamitous...  Uncle Mike if you have any tips now would be a good time to call :-)

   I couldn't be bothered to, but I forced myself to update my Alternative Journal on the train home from work. I struggled to find my usual amount of positive points for work, but I reread what I'd written in the morning which cheered me up a little.

   Right, well this is my 1st day off for the long weekend & I'm already up at the ungodly hour of 06:00, so I'm off to enjoy it...

Thanks For The Help

   A quick thanks to those that have given me a few tips & suggestions. You know who you are

Busy Week

   Well it's been a busy & at times challenging week.

   Work-wise I've been doing training & as the week has gone on I noticed my hyperness spiking a little. I think it was because I was cramming my brain with new stuff & well lets face it, my brain doesn't like that if it wants to relax! I had to make sure I switched off in the evenings after work so I'd get some sleep. I was getting less sleep by the end of the week, but enough to get by on.
   I noticed my general mood dipped on Friday too, but I've only just got back into work full time & so add that to training & being busy, I reckon that is to be expected. I was able to turn my mood around in the afternoon, whilst still at work, by reminding myself that I'm not fully recovered from my recent episode & so I will get these feeling from time to time.

   I also went to a Bipolar focus group, as I mentioned in a post a few days ago, click the link to view it.
busy-busy-busy-stiff-getting-stiffer
I also found this challenging, even though it was good to do, & I'm looking forward to going again next month.

   All in all a good week, but I need to make sure I keep working to control the hyperness I might feel from work next week. Only a four day week though because I'm off on Friday. Get in!

MMmmm Food....

   I saw the link below in the metro earlier this week & applied for the free TasteCard. It gives you 50% off loads of different restaurants. I haven't actually received it yet, it can take 28 days, but looking forward to seeing which establishments I can use it in.

http://www.tastecard.co.uk/trial/metro

Busy, Busy, Busy, Stiff & Getting Stiffer

   Wow, I can't believe I haven't been on here for 5 days! I don't want all my posts to be as long as the last one so I'll keep this brief.

   For the last two days I've finally been back in work full time (10-6, Mon-Fri) & doing training, so my head is rammed right now. I'm doing good though, as I don't feel hyper on the back of it.

   Yesterday morning I went to my second circuit training class at the gym & dear god I'm feeling stiff today. I dread to think how I'm going to feel tomorrow. Visions of John Wayne after a particularly vicious cattle drive come to mind...

   Last night after work I went to my first Bipolar Focus Group. A nice bunch of people & I'm confident I'll go back next month. I intentionally left it a few years to go to one, as I wanted to make sure I understood my own bipolar before I met others with it. Come to think of it this was first time I've met other people with bipolar other than my Aunt.

Getting The Right Doctor

   OK so the last post briefly covers alcohol, this one is about getting the right Dr.

   My family Dr didn't diagnose my bipolar & wasn't at all flexible. By that I mean, when I booked an appointment at the surgery I had to book roughly two weeks in advance & even then I wasn't guaranteed to see him. Although this was the Surgery policy, when I mentioned this to him his reply was "Well we're a busy surgery."

   I find that my hyper phases usually only last for short periods, roughly 5-7 days. If I could see my own Dr within a couple of days of these hyper cycles starting, I probably would have been diagnosed a lot sooner. Instead, I had to wait either a couple of weeks to see him, (by then my mood would have changed) or I would see a Dr who didn't know me, making it very difficult for them to spot Bipolar symptoms. Since 2001 my Dr had simply diagnosed me with depression and prescribed only anti-depressants (which can be dangerous for someone with Bipolar).

   In 2009, after a particularly bad episode, I was referred (not by my own Dr I might add) to a Psychiatrist & finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder.

   In 2010, I attended an open surgery as I was having an episode and was struggling with my symptoms. I was given an appointment with a Dr who understood Bipolar & appreciated the importance of continuity of care. She advised me she would be able to fit me in whenever I was having an episode & needed to see a Dr, all I had to do was leave a message with the surgery receptionist & she would try & see me the same day. I have been under the care of this Dr now for approx a year & half & she has been true to her word. If I am struggling with my Bipolar symptoms, I call the surgery & nine time out of ten, I will see her the same day. If she is unable to see me (which is very rare) she will call me & we will have a consultation over the phone & discuss the best course of action to take. Over the past 12 months, this Dr has got to know me & my symptoms which has been instrumental in helping me manage my Bipolar.

   I've been told that Bipolar usually requires a number of visits to the Dr to be diagnosed, as the highs & lows can take years to manifest, but I do think eight years is taking too long. Therefore, I would encourage anyone who believes they may have Bipolar to see the same Dr, as they will learn to understand what your general mood is like & what a hyper/depressed mood is for you. Also, I can not stress enough how much continuity of care has helped me manage my Bipolar symptoms on a day to day basis.

   I think it is really important that you choose a Dr you're comfortable with, as you need to be open & honest about how you're feeling. Until I asked if I could switch doctors I didn't even know it was possible to do so.

Alcohol

   I've forgotten to post what I consider to be one of the most important factors to help those suffering from Bipolar.

   Be very careful about how much alcohol you drink!

   I tend to suffer the low side of bipolar more than the high & so too much can affect my sleep, give me a hangover & will generally lower my mood. It's not something that is easy to notice, but as alcohol is a natural depressant it only makes sense...

   Don't get me wrong I do drink, but I'd say on average once a month & only then one or two glasses. The upside of this is you feel a lot more healthy & you save a small fortune to indulge on other things like chocolate :-) (Guilty I am a chocoholic)

Powering Through

   It's been a few days since my last post, mainly because I've been feeling a little low. I started doing some new stuff at work & I started to doubt whether I could do it. On Monday & Tuesday each morning I felt down & it took until the afternoons until I'd pick up. I felt low 1st thing this morning too, but was able to get my mood back on track before I went swimming at 7am.

   Here are a few tips that worked for me to change my mood:
1) Doing exercise before work even though I really couldn't be bothered.
2) Reminding myself that my mood is a temporary feeling (this goes for most moods/feelings, good & bad).
3) Worrying about work each morning is negative. You don't know what the day holds so quit worrying!
5) Don't stay in bed for that extra 10mins if your feeling low. Get up & eat, just moving around your home should help (It's a bonus that my cat Lucy will usually go scatty for 30mins & act like a loon to cheer me up!)
5) On your way into work listen to your favourite upbeat music in car or on iPod... Nothing depressing like the Smiths :-)
6) Doing my Alternative Journal, click on the link below for details
http://bpshielsy.blogspot.com/2012/02/alternative-journal-3212.html

Feel free to comment to add any other tips.

Hide & Seek

   I had a good time yesterday, especially playing Hide & Seek with my nephews. They actually hid successfully from me for the first time, without feet showing under curtains or legs sticking out from under beds :-)

   Yoga appeared to help my hyperness too which was a bonus. I'll have to keep & eye on that, as it could be a good way of getting more control over it. It was only my 2nd class so hopefully I'll be able to notice the benefits  the more I do.

   I've been worrying a little about work this morning, but I'll just put it down to Monday Morning Blues. No doubt when I'm there I'll get stuck in & have a decent day.

Excited

   I'm excited & looking forward to the day ahead! Got Yoga after lunch & then off to my Auntie & Uncle's with my wife for a roast with my Brother, his wife & their two cheeky scamps :-)

   Had a good nights sleep last night too. 1st one in about a week. I still feel a little hyper but I've got it under control.

Tips - Hyper During The Day?

  If I'm feeling hyper during the daytime I will try & consciously slow down what I'm doing. If my mind feels too active then I try to take deep breaths & concentrate on my breathing. It might sound clichéd but I find it works most times.
   Also if you're at work & you're doing a number of things at once, stop! Prioritise what you're doing & then work through the list, ticking off each one as you complete it. If I don't do this I end up with too many things not being completed or simply forgotten about.

Reading Can Help

The 5 tips on my last blog work like clockwork when my mood is as it usually is, but when I am feeling hyper this isn't always the case. If I'm in bed & struggling to sleep I'll get up & read. I don't read anything complex so as not to get the mind active, just a simple plot that's easy to follow. I'm lucky to have Saffie my oldest cat who will usually jump up to sit on me & purr loudly, which usually does the trick.

Tips To Aid A Good Nights Sleep

Things I do to help sleep:
- Have a bath 30-60mins before I go to bed.
- Drink a hot drink that has no trace of caffeine. (Double check the ingredients as some decaf products have trace amounts.)
- If I haven't already, then I'll finish my Alternative Journal.
- Just before you go to bed put 5 drops of lavender oil onto a kitchen towel, take 10 deep breaths inhaling through the nose with the towel close to your nose. Then slide the kitchen towel into your pillow so you get the smell all night long. Apparently lavender produces slight calming, soothing & sedative effects when its scent is inhaled.
- Be good to the wifey/partner/significant other & ask if they wouldn't mind giving you a massage.

Early Start

   Well I got 3-4 hours sleep last night thanks to a 'lovely' taxi driver deciding to put his full beam lights right on our bedroom window for 5mins!! Couldn't get back to sleep so hear I am... Right well seeing as I'm up & currently feeling the high side of bipolar I might as well let you know what works for me.

   I actually enjoy feeling the hyper side from my bipolar, as it gives me confidence boosts & everything does appear to be going well. Though I have to be mindful as this might not be the case & just my interpretation.

Alternative Journal - 3/2/12

   I've recently had a period of depression & my counsellor advised using an Alternative Journal. It is a bullet point diary focusing on the positive things that have happened in your day. It is a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) technique & it attempts to change your thinking from negative thoughts to positive ones.

   So, rather than remembering your day & subconsciously  focusing on the negative things that happened, you list the positive things that happened. With practice your subconscious should automatically start doing this for you.

   Give yourself a mood score out of 10 at the beginning of your day & once you've written your journal read through it & then put how you now feel. Hopefully reading it will make you smile & nudge up the number.

See below today's Alternative Journal.

Mood Score 6.75
- Chatting to a guy in the queue for the Doctor's surgery.
- Deciding to work on my blog.
- Spending 2-3 hours on the blog.
- Good luck from one of my friends when I asked her to have a look at the blog.
- Tips from another friend suggesting ideas for the blog.
- Hearing Oasis' "Whatever" on the radio.
- My wife telling me over the phone "I feel ill. I think it's because I've eaten too much." She lied but we won't go into that now :-)
- A friends daughter who apparently keeps saying my wife & I's name & even that our cat, Lucy, says "Hissss". SSSooooooo cute.
- The Sun shining on the river & the way it sparkled.
- Had a good swim & a very relaxing steam room session.
Mood Score 7.0

Right, well I'm off to watch a film with the Mrs.

The link below is for PsychCentral.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/bipolar/2008/12/10-bipolar-disorder-self-help-tips/

It offers 10 self help tips for those with bipolar. This is just one page from PsychCentral, but it offers much more. There are some comments below the top 10 self help tips, both positive & negative. In my own opinion I think they are really useful tips. Check it out.

The link below is for Bipolar UK

http://www.mdf.org.uk/

This websites offers all kind of useful help. There are forums, employment advice, new publications about bipolar & much more. One of the best websites out there for those with bipolar & those who know someone with bipolar & want to understand more.

LINK: The Royal College of Psychiatrists

The link below is to The Royal College of Psychiatrists.

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/bipolardisorder/bipolardisorder.aspx

It is the 1st website I visited after being diagnosed & I found it really useful as an introduction to what bipolar is. There are useful links to other sites allowing you to access forums & discuss bipolar with other people.

I would caution you check out the forums before you enter as some opinions may upset. However, there is usually a special notice to say if the forum accepts uncensored discussion.

Here We Go!

   Hi, I want to start adding to this blog & eventually extend it into a webpage. If you can offer any hints or tips on creating a webpage please do.
   I'm planning to add links to this blog to medical sites about bipolar that I've found helpful. I also want this blog to be simple & easy to follow, so although some links may take you to websites that aren't straight forward I'll try to give a brief description of the content of that particular link.